the problem of giving up

In jos

the problem of giving up

Mesaj  admin la data de 01.09.08 15:36

i usually fall in love every autumn... sometimes of my boyfriend, sometimes not. but i had two desastrous times and i cannot imagine myself falling in love and feeling rejection again. my heart was broken enough and fixed back together. i tried to live by one phrase: infinite love is the only truth, everything is illusion... which means i that i tried to love and to accept everyone around me... i couldn't.

it was to much uncoresponded love. i don't know how people could hate or harm someone intentionally... everything i did was from and with love... sometimes it is better to say it when you see faults in someone else's personality... but sometimes it is better to be indifferent... with love.

i had to change my environment completely and start again. but starting again goes very slowly and sometimes my patience goes away... i had moments when i felt much energized and i thought i could move mountains, but i learned that to much entusiasm isn't good either. i have to mantain calm and preserve my energy for those moment when i'll need it. those moments when i could feel anxious and depresed again...

you know... when we fall in love we hope it will last forever, we place our energy at making it work and we wait. how much time do we suppose to wait? over how much time it is ok to let go to an uncoresponded love? over how much time it is ok to fall in love again? how much time we could resist to preserve our love for someone who didnt accepted it at the first place? only to believe it and see that he was trully loved... i usually know how to give advices to someone else's problems, but i'm tired to give advices to me and maintain my unappreciated monologue.

_________________
...and love must be equally divided between us.

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